Guide to Customs
and Etiquettes of Japan
(From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia)
Japan has a code of etiquette that governs the expectations of social
behavior and is considered very important. Many books instruct readers
on its social rules. Some customs here may be very regional practices,
and thus may not exist in all regions of Japan. The following are
generally accepted modern
customs in Japan. Some customs have changed over the course of history.
Bathing
Bathing is an important part of the daily routine in Japan. Baths
are for relaxing; the body and hair must be thoroughly scrubbed and
all soap
removed
before entering the bathtub or
お風呂(ofuro). This
is normally done at a small faucet or shower located in the same room
as the tub, while seated
on a
small stool. The traditional shape of the tub is smaller and deeper
than is common in Western homes. A traditional Japanese bathtub is
square,
and deep enough that the water will cover the shoulders, but requires
the bather
to sit with the knees drawn up to the chest. Newer bathtubs are more
like the western shape. Rather than being drained at the end of each
bath, the
water is kept warm by means of special heaters, and the same water
is used by all the family members. After use, some homes take the hot
bath
water
from the tub and use it to wash clothes in a washing machine. A lid
is placed on the tub to maintain the water temperature when not in
use,
and to prevent evaporation. Any hair or debris is scooped from the
water after
the bath.
In homes with small tubs, each family member bathes one by one, in
order of seniority, traditionally starting with the oldest male. However,
many
young Japanese women now refuse to bathe after their fathers. If there
are guests in the home, they will be given priority. In homes with
larger tubs, it is not uncommon for family members to bathe together.
Typically
one or both parents will bathe with babies and toddlers, and even as
children grow older they may still bathe with one of their parents.
Bathtubs are increasingly common in modern Japanese homes, but there
are still many homes, particularly in older or rural areas, that do
not have
bathtubs, so public bathhouses called sento (銭湯) are common. A regular
bathhouse will have tap water heated in a boiler. In all but the most
rural areas baths are segregated by sex, and customers bathe nude,
many using
a small washcloth to cover the genitals. Hotels, pachinko parlours
and other venues may have on-site sentos for customer use.
Patrons of traditional Japanese inns or Ryokan will be offered the
use of an Ofuro for bathing, either a communal Ofuro with bathing times
being
scheduled in advance, or a private Ofuro.
Onsen (温泉) are baths that by definition use naturally
hot water from geothermally-heated springs, sometimes outdoors. Larger
onsen will have
separate pools for
men and women, and visitors normally bathe nude. As with home baths,
at sento and onsen bathers must wash thoroughly before entering the
communal baths. Many sento and onsen ban customers with tattoos which
are traditionally
taboo, citing concerns over yakuza activity. Very rarely, non-Japanese
visitors are banned, a practice regarded as xenophobia. The bathhouses
respond that non-Japanese, particularly Russian sailors visiting Hokkaido
in northern Japan, are unfamiliar with the correct etiquette and either
dirty the bathwater or behave inappropriately. For a recent, well-publicised
example, see Debito Arudou.
Bowing
Bowing ((o)jigi (お辞儀, おじぎ), (o-)rei (お礼)), is probably the feature
of Japanese etiquette that is best-known outside Japan. Bowing is considered
extremely
important in Japan, so much so that, although children normally begin
learning how to bow from a very young age, companies commonly provide
training to
their employees in how to execute bows correctly.
Basic bows are performed with the back straight and the hands at the
sides (boys and men) or clasped in the lap (girls and women), and with
the eyes
down. Bows originate at the waist. Generally, the longer and deeper
the bow, the stronger the emotion and the respect expressed.
Bows can be generally divided into three main types: informal, formal,
and very formal. Informal bows are made at about a fifteen degree angle
and more formal bows at about thirty degrees. Very formal bows are
deeper.
The etiquette surrounding bowing, including the length and depth of
bow, and the appropriate response, is exceedingly complex. For example,
if
the other person maintains his or her bow for longer than expected
(generally about two or three seconds), it is polite to bow again,
upon which one
may receive another bow in return. This often leads to a long exchange
of progressively lighter bows.
Generally speaking, an inferior bows longer, more deeply and more frequently
than a superior. A superior addressing an inferior will generally only
nod the head slightly, while some superiors may not bow at all and
an inferior will bend forward slightly from the waist.
Bows of apology tend to be deeper and last longer than other types
of bow. They tend to occur with frequency during the apology, generally
at about
45 degrees with the head lowered and lasting for at least the count
of
three, sometimes longer. The depth, frequency and duration of the bow
increases with the sincerity of the apology and the severity of the
offence. Bows
of thanks follow the same pattern. In extreme cases a kneeling bow
is performed; this bow is sometimes so deep that the forehead touches
the
floor. This
is called saikeirei (最敬礼), literally "most respectful bow."
When dealing with non-Japanese people, many Japanese will shake hands.
Since many non-Japanese are familiar with the custom of bowing, this
often leads to a combined bow and handshake which can be quite complicated
to
execute. Bows may be combined with handshakes or performed before or
after shaking hands. Generally when bowing in close proximity, as necessitated
when combining bowing and shaking hands, people turn slightly to one
side
(usually the left) to avoid bumping heads.
Eating and drinking
Meals in Japan traditionally begin with the phrase itadakimasu (いただきます)
(literally, "I receive"). The phrase is similar to the phrase "bon
appetit," but is used more frequently; in the case of some individuals,
at every meal, though it has its origins in the Japanese religious
system. It is said to express gratitude for all who had a part in preparing
the food. When finished eating, Japanese use the phrase gochisosama
deshita (ごちそうさまでした)
.
It is considered polite to clear one's plate; children are especially
encouraged to do so. It is impolite to pick out certain ingredients and
leave the rest. One should chew with the mouth closed.
It is acceptable to lift soup and rice bowls to your mouth so that you
don't spill food. It is also appropriate to slurp certain foods, especially
ramen or soba noodles, though this is not practiced universally.
Rice is generally eaten plain or sometimes with nori (dried-pressed seaweed)
or furikake (various seasonings). Pouring soy sauce onto plain white
rice is not a Japanese custom, nor is it common to pour soy sauce directly
over sashimi or sushi. Instead, soy sauce is poured into a small dish
that is provided, and the food dipped into the sauce. Furthermore, it
is considered greedy and wasteful to pour an excessive amount of soy
sauce into the small dish, a mistake that many foreigners are not aware
of. When eating nigiri-zushi, one should dip the sushi topping side down
into the sauce; leaving stray grains of rice floating in the sauce is
considered uncouth.
It is still uncommon for Japanese people to eat while walking about.
Some consider it rude to eat in public or on trains, but this is not
a universally-held belief.
In Japanese restaurants, customers are given a rolled hand towel called
oshibori (お絞り). It is considered rude to use the towel to wipe one's
face or neck; however, some people, usually men, do this at more informal
restaurants.
When one uses tooth picks, it is etiquette for one to cover their mouth
with the other hand. Blowing one's nose is considered rude in public,
especially at a restaurant. It is polite for one to cover their nose
with their hand, or excuse themself to do it in the restroom.
Chopsticks
There are many traditions surrounding the use of chopsticks. For example,
it is considered particularly taboo to pass food from chopsticks to chopsticks,
as this is how bones are handled by the family of the deceased after
a cremation. Mismatched chopsticks should also not be used for the same
reason. Similarly, chopsticks should not be stood up in a bowl of food,
as the image recalls the burning of incense sticks standing up from tray
containing sand, typically at funerals.
Visiting someone's house
It is the custom in every Japanese household to take one's shoes off
when entering the house.
It is generally considered polite to wear shoes
instead of sandals, but sandal wearers may carry a pair of white socks
to put over their bare feet or stockings, so that their bare feet will
not touch the slippers that the host offers. The shoes are turned around
so that the toe faces the door after taking them off. If during the winter
time, a guest is wearing a coat or hat, the guest will take it off before
the host opens the door. When the guest is leaving, he or she does not
put on the coat or hat until the door has closed.
Gifts and gift-giving
Many people will ask a guest to open a gift, but if they do not, the
Japanese will resist the urge to ask if they can open the gift. Since
the act of accepting a gift can create a sense of unfulfilled obligation
on the part of the receiver, gifts are sometimes refused, depending on
the situation.
Seasonal gifts
There are two gift seasons in Japan, called seibo (歳暮) and chugen (中元).
One is for winter and the other is for summer. Gifts are given to those
whom one has a relationship with, especially the people who have helped
the gift giver.
It is considered impolite to go to someone's house without a gift.
In Japanese this is called tebura (手ぶら) (empty-handed). A gift is usually
brought in a paper bag (preferably a bag from the shop where you bought
the gift) and is taken out of the bag, which is placed underneath the
gift when giving it to the host, using both hands. The gift is often
presented when shown into the living room, saying "tsumaranai mono
desu ga" つまらないものですが (literally "it is only a small
thing, but...") to show modesty. If the host offers something, it
is polite to make a soft declination saying "okizukai naku" おきずかいなく
(please don't go through the trouble), but the guest can gladly accept
if the host asks for the second time.
Other gifts
Another custom in Japan is for women to give men chocolate on
Valentine's Day. The chocolate can be given to the object of the woman's
affection,
or to any man the woman is connected to. The latter is called giri-choko
(義理チョコ) (obligation chocolate). This custom is also performed by the
male one month after Valentine's Day, called White Day.
Souvenirs
In tourist spots in Japan, souvenirs are a big business. There are souvenir
stands at train stations selling gifts from far-away areas for those
who are returning and forgot to buy or didn't want to carry around a
gift. There are also services that deliver regional souvenirs from places
in Japan or from foreign countries to be used as souvenirs.
Greetings
Greetings are considered to be of extreme importance in Japanese culture.
Students in elementary and secondary schools are often admonished to
deliver greetings with energy and vigor. A lazy greeting is regarded
with the type of disdain that would accompany a limp handshake in parts
of the West.
Simply walking off without saying anything is frowned upon. When parting,
instead of simply saying goodbye, it is common to make a wish to meet
again.
The most common greetings are ohayo gozaimasu (おはようございます) or "good
morning", used until about 11am but may be used at any time of day
if it is the first occasion that day the two people have met; konnichiwa
(こんにちは) which is roughly equivalent to "good day" or "good
afternoon" and is used until late afternoon; konbanwa (今晩は) or "good
evening"; and oyasuminasai (お休みなさい) or "good night".
Different forms of these greetings may be used depending on the relative
social statuses of the speaker and the listener; see respectful language
below.
Hospitality
Since many Japanese homes are very small, entertaining is traditionally
done at restaurants and other establishments. Entertaining at home is
not unheard of, however, and hosts will often go to great lengths to
be hospitable.
Generally, as in many other cultures, the guest takes priority. He or
she will be seated in the best place, served the best food and drinks,
and generally deferred to. If staying overnight, the guest will also
be offered the first bath, and the hosts may even give up their own beds.
Japanese hosts generally try for the ideal of being busy so the guest
can relax. As opposed to Western hospitality styles where the host
presents a relaxed front to the guests or may encourage guests to "make themselves
at home" or "help themselves," Japanese hosts will often
present a busy front to guests. The general aim is to cultivate the
idea among guests that everything is being taken care of so that they
may
relax and be at ease.
Letters and postcards
Letter-writing remains an important part of Japanese culture, despite
the advent of email and text-messaging. In Japan letter-writing skills
are dependent not upon the ability to be original but rather on the
ability to follow the prescribed format. However, some forms of letters,
such as e-tegami, or "picture-letters", which incorporate
hand-painted decorations, often seasonal motifs, certainly require
creativity.
Titles
Letter addresses, even those sent to close friends, are normally written
in quite formal language. Unless some other title is available (sensei,
for example, which can mean "doctor" or "professor" among
other things) the standard title used with the addressee's name is
the very formal sama. Letters addressed to a company take the title
onchu
(御中) after the company name. It is also considered important to mention
in the address if the company is incorporated (kabushiki gaisha) or
limited (yugen kaisha). When a letter is addressed to a company employee
at their
place of work, the address should contain the full name of the place
of work, as well as the title of the employee's position, and the full
name of the employee. The titles, from least to greatest respect, are
chan (for women) or kun (for men), san, sama.
Letter writing materials
Personal letters are traditionally written by hand using blue or black
ink, or with a writing brush and black ink. The preferred paper is washi
(Japanese paper). Letters may be written vertically (tategaki) or horizontally
(yokogaki), but vertical is the traditional, and therefore more formal,
direction.
Seasonal greetings
A letter typically opens with a seasonal greeting. A typical example
incorporates a remark about the temperature, rain, snow, and so on. These
greetings are often quite poetic, and include observations about the
changing colors of the leaves or the emergence of spring flowers. The
seasonal greeting is followed by an inquiry about the addressee's health,
and a report of one's own. The first paragraph of a typical letter might
thus read as follows:
The hot weather of summer has finally passed. The days are getting cooler
and the leaves are turning vivid colors. How have you been? Thankfully,
I have been getting along well.
The second paragraph is devoted to news about the writer. Requests,
if any, will likely not appear until at least the third paragraph.
Letters
close with greetings to others, and with one of a number of standard
phrases urging the reader to "take care." A typical example
might be:
Please send my regards to your wife. Now that the weather is getting
cooler, please take care of yourself.
Greeting postcards
In Japan, holiday-goers do not send postcards. Instead, the tradition
in Japan is for a holiday goer to bring back a souvenir, often edible
(see "Gifts and gift-giving"). However, New Year's greeting
postcards, or nengajjyo (年賀状), are a tradition similar to Christmas
cards in the West. If sent within a time limit, the Japanese post office
will
deliver the cards on the morning of New Year's Day. These are decorated
with motifs based on the year of the Chinese zodiac which is starting.
They request the addressee's continued favor in the new year. If one
receives a card from someone to whom one has not sent a card, etiquette
dictates that one must send a card in return, to arrive no later than
the seventh of January.
However, if a relative of a person has died during that year, they will
send a postcard written in black before the New Year apologizing for
not sending a New Year's card. The rationale for this is that since their
relative has died they cannot wish or experience a happy new year. In
this case, the etiquette is not to send them a New Year's Greeting either.
Respectful language (Keigo)
There is an entire grammatical rule-set for speaking respectfully to
superiors, customers, etc., and this plays a large part in good etiquette.
Click on the following links to learn more about Keigo
http://ezinearticles.com/?Japanese-Keigo---Give-Respect,-Get-Respect&id=692994
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_titles
Service
Japan is frequently cited by non-Japanese as a place where service
is excellent. Service at public establishments such as restaurants,
drinking
places, shops and services is generally friendly, attentive and very
polite, as reflected in a common reminder given by managers and employers
to their employees: "okyaku-sama wa kami-sama desu" (お客様は神様です),
or "the customer is a god." However, service employees will
seldom engage in casual conversation with a customer with the aim of
forming a closer friendship or romantic relationship as sometimes happens
in "western" cultures. The service employees are expected
to maintain a more formal, professional relationship with all customers.
Private conversations among service staff are considered not appropriate
when a customer is near.
In general, as in most countries, etiquette dictates that the customer
is treated with reverence. In Japan this means that employees speak
in a humble and deferential manner and use respectful forms of language
that elevates the customer. Thus, customers are typically addressed
with
the title --sama (roughly equivalent to "sir" or "madam" in
English).
Weddings
It is traditional for wedding guests to provide a gift in a stylized,
sealed envelope. The money is understood to be used to cover the cost
of the wedding and party. Depending on the group of people involved,
people of higher status may be expected to give more, or there may be
a decided amount. However, the number of bank notes should be odd, since
it will be difficult to divide the money.
Wedding guests may also receive wedding gifts, in a kind of reverse-wedding
registry situation. Near the wedding date guests may receive a catalog
of gifts available for them to choose.
Funerals
People at Japanese funerals bring money in funeral envelopes. People
attending participate in the entire ceremony, which may include the wake
the night before the funeral; the cremation is usually reserved for family.
At funerals people bow to the family when they go to the front. People
at funerals typically wear black or dark clothes, with all black as preferable.
Working ethics
Japanese people generally arrive early and are prepared to start
working as soon as work hours begin. They also praise other workers
for support,
even when they have been of little help in succeeding. When leaving
work, the greeting otsukaresama deshita "You're tired" is often used
to those leaving, and the person who is leaving often says osaki ni shitsurei
shimasu "I'm sorry to leave before you." For many workers,
it is considered poor form to leave before the boss goes home.
Special birthdays
Sixty
The sixtieth birthday is the occasion of kanreki, 還暦, when five cycles
of the Chinese zodiac have completed.
Seventy-seven
The seventy-seventh birthday is the occasion of kiju 喜寿, "happy
age", because the pronunciation of Chinese character 喜 is similar
to seven.
Eighty-eight
The eighty-eighth birthday is the occasion of beiju 米寿, "rice
age", because the Chinese character for rice, 米, looks like
the characters for eighty-eight (八十八).
Ninety-nine
The ninety-ninth birthday is the occasion of hakuju 白寿, "white
age", because the Chinese character for white, 白, looks like the
Chinese character for one hundred, 百, with the top "one" removed.
